Not following this bit of advice cost be 12 months of banging my head against the wall through sheer frustration and over $175,527 when I first started trading, before I realised what I was doing.
One of the most important things you need to take charge of is who you associate with and who you learn from. Why? Because this is who you will become! As a trader, investor or entrepreneur, your business, performance and life is a direct reflection of the expectation of your peer group! What does that mean?
Your peer group is anyone you care about, listen to, value their opinion or let inside your mind. In one way or another you care what they think or feel about you. This could be your online Skype buddies, trading forum members, CNBC, Bloomberg, your broker, advisors, accountant, book keeper, partner, family, friends, etc.
It’s important that you realise the wrong peer group will say “things” that they believe is good advice, but unbeknown to them this advice has kept them stuck. The advice is rooted in a core belief. Your group believe they are giving you good advice and it will help you. Now, if you hear this enough times you will unconsciously accept it , you will take on the belief, and hey presto, you will be stuck like your buddy/peer group, and have no idea why.
All behaviours are driven by your beliefs. All your future actions will be controlled by your new code of conduct. This new belief that is now controlling your actions came in the disguise of useful advice of how to make money, protect your profits, lower cost, be more successful in your trading, investing or business. Staying in that group locks in the belief.
If you associate with peers who are performing better than you, and/or they expect more of you than you expect of yourself, in order for you to stay in that peer group you will have to raise your game. You will have to find a way to up your current performance and results. You’ll literally expect more of yourself. Why? Because, if you want to stay in that peer group, there is an unstated, unconscious psychological pressure placed on you that states – you will have to produce better results to feel equal to your peers. This simple, proven principle will get you to where you want to be in less time.
However, if your peers are individuals who expect you to do OK, but not exceptionally well, or maybe they think you’re being too ambitious, then you’ll never progress. Chances are if this is you, you’ve heard or received statements like “I don’t like how X,Y or Z trades, they may be making money but they are doing it wrong”, or “If you keep doing this method you will be successful”, or “Relax, you don’t need to work everyday, what’s wrong with you, you are negelecting your family?” or “I know the advisor said do it this way, but I think my/our way is better” or, “You never think about anyone but yourself, it’s all about you!”
When this happens, in order to stay in that peer group and not have an argument everyday, you’ll unconsciously sabotage your own success by sticking to the unstated ‘rules’ of that peer group. This pressure will affect your state, your decisions, the kind of questions you dare to ask and the risks and the actions you would be prepared to take.
Furthermore, surprising as it may seem, your peer group will do anything to pull you down to keep you in that peer group. They will do this not because they don’t want you to do well, but because unconsciously they don’t want to lose you. They will unconsciously find ways to undermine what you are doing because they love you, they want you to stay around and they fear they might lose you and get left behind.
Here is your challenge. What if you have a genuinely higher expectation of what you want to experience in your trading, investing, business and personal life than your peer group?
If you have higher expectations than your current peer group, then what you have to do is keep your friends, but find a new peer group. Seek the best there is out there. Seek those that will expect more of you. Find the best that will help you to raise your own standards; a standard so high it will force you to improve. Me for example, when I wanted to learn everything about the psychology of peak performance I sought out the best in the world. I learnt from them and eventually taught with them.
You don’t play golf against someone who is worse than or equal to you and expect to get better.
Despite the obviousness of this message, many overweight people will go to someone else who is overweight and ask him or her for dieting advice. Many broke or comfortable people will go to someone else who is broke or comfortable and ask how they made money. You need to be in constant communication with someone who is living the ultimate result you desire. You need someone that when you look up to them, you think inside your mind, wow this person has the result I desire.
Allow me to say it again, you don’t play football, golf or tennis against someone who is worse than or equal to you and expect to get better. You don’t trade or invest with someone who is worse than or equal to you and expect to get better. It just doesn’t work that way. So it is with sports, so it is in trading, investing or business. If you’ve got any courage, you find people who are the best in their field, and you work like crazy to play the game of life at their level. Me personally, I’ve leant from working with successful achievers that you have to make some conscious choices. You have to step out of what you are used to, do something radically different, and as a result your results will really change for the better. Do you follow what I am saying?
In the next blog post I will be discussing strategies to do the above.
Please leave a comment regarding the aforementioned. Share how you have violated this universal principal and what it cost you as a result, how it kept you stuck and stopped you moving on.
ok, makes sense to me
Very interesting article. I used to belong to a trading group that met twice a month. I broke out and started working a successful strategy and most of the members of the group have said the same comments mentioned. I don’t attend the group very often any more. My main challenge is finding someone who is actually doing well trading.
“What a man thinketh on, so is he” – you are what you think. So true. Sow a thought, reap an action. Sow an action, reap a habit. Sow some habits, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny.
“What a man thinketh on, so is he” – you are what you think. So true. Sow a thought, reap an action. Sow an action, reap a habit. Sow some habits, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny.